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Saturday, 12 July 2014

Judgemental Mums With Negative Comments

In life as a mother I feel I need to seek others approval but why do I feel like this and why do so many others feel like this? Why do other people's opinion matter, why do people's negative comments hurt and stick, why do you feel at times your best is never enough? It's hard being a parent...

Bringing a little person into the world comes with a lot of responsibilities. I am sure that not every parent in the world get's things right however most parent's I know manage to do their best and do what is right for their children. In my opinion as long as a child is loved, cared for, is happy, doesn't face abuse, is fed, clothed and watered and overall is in a happy playful setting than who am I to judge another person's parenting ways?


Yesterday Billie Faiers gave birth to a baby girl. For all those who do not know who Billie is, Billie is from the Only Way Is Essex. As soon as news broke about Billie giving birth, there were many congratulations all over the internet however within 24 hours these congratulations turned into negative comments because Billie and her partner Greg were left seeing the hospital with a car seat in their hands whilst it was raining. People felt the need to pass judgement about the way the car seat was being carried whilst Billie and Greg walked under a umbrella. People posted negative and nasty comments about Billie and Gregs parenting abilities all because they had seen a photo which they did not like. People believed that Billie and Greg's newborn daughter was in the car seat and somehow though that she was not protected against the rain whilst Billie and Greg were under a umbrella. People spoke about their "disgust" and people went on to type personal comments about how Billie and Greg had "no common sense". Comments were also made that the baby was taken out in the "freezing cold" and that the baby should have a rain cover over it's car seat.

Comments turned nastier as people then started to poke holes into Billie, a women who had given birth less than 24 hours ago. Nasty comments about the way she looked and what she was wearing which were uncalled for. Billie was wearing a simple PJ set, something which I expect she felt comfortable in soon after giving birth but people had to be nasty and pass judgement.

I watched the anger, the negativity, the bitterness, the nastiness and the name calling go on for over a hour on one post over on Facebook however in the end I felt I needed to comment. I felt the need to comment due to the fact it was mostly women who were parents themselves that were passing judgement, people who had been parents for the first time, people who I am sure had to learn how to become a parent, people who perhaps had felt negative comments towards them before and had been hurt. 


What angered me the most was the fact Billie and Greg were being picked on because they are in the public eye. If this was a normal family, you or I going about our business would all these people pick up that the baby could have been exposed to a small amount of rain or the fact of what a new mum was wearing as she came out of the hospital?

The time has clearly been and gone where other mothers support other mothers, especially new mothers. Instead we are now at a stage where people feel the need to pick fault in others. No parent's perfect, people get things wrong.

Have you fallen victim to being judged as a parent? Have you been left feeling hurt over peoples comments?
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13 comments

  1. I see vile, negative comments on a daily basis about people in the public eye. Long gone are the days where you support others, it's a huge viscous bullying circle. Unfortunately, all it takes is one person to be negative and a whole load of people will follow suit because they don't want to fall victim to negativity to themselves. What should be an happy time for Billie and Greg is now all sour due to trolls. It's not getting better, in my eyes it's getting worse, and to be honest I don't understand it and why people feel the need to pass judgement on someone they do not no. I say treat others as you would like to be treat yourself. Have nothing nice to say just don't say it at all, keep it in. X

    Kate | A British Sparkle

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  2. I really don't understand it. I do think though that it isn't because they are famous more that it is due to their fame that they are in the public eye if that makes sense. So if a magazine took it upon themselves to print pictures of ordinary people, those ordinary people would come under fire too. I think the problem is more that due to the anonymity of the internet people think they can just abuse others without any comeback! Good on you for pointing out this case of bullying. People need to wind their necks in and let others be!!

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  3. All of these comments were clearly by people that have never had a baby. I don't know why people have to be so mean?!

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  4. Worse thing about the internet is Trolls. I just think it's so sad how they feel the need to be so mean to a new mother who's hormones would be all over the place.

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  5. Sadly this is pretty normal now...whether you are famous or not there is always the judgemental ones who think they know best and everything you do is wrong.

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  6. I think every parent is judged at some stage, whether to their face or behind their back. I feel as though nobody is perfect and everyone is entitled to raise their children the way they wish, so who are we to judge others?
    It's a shame people picked on Billie, having a newborn can be daunting enough without public humiliation over something so minor x

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  7. Actual pointing out the idiocy of some people can spare others. Obv there is criticism and cruelty but tbh I would have said "WHY would you carry a car seat? Carry he BABY

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  8. It is really sad that people have to say anything negative. It must be so difficult to have a baby when you are in the public eye, but I think judgement from others is something that all parents face sadly x

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  9. I have no idea who she is as it is not a program I have watched, but in my opinion women are other woman's worst enemy

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  10. i really don't understand this behaviour. some people will find anyting to complain about and they don't seem to care who affects and how it affects them!

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  11. In any situation we seem to find something to pick at - something to be particularly nasty about :( x

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  12. social media makes it easier for people to say what they think. People don't think about the consequences first.

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  13. I think you can't avoid negative comments... you can be the best Mum out there and still someone will have a problem with the way you "run things".
    I simply tent to ignore it.

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